¡Hola, salut et ciao, UrbanTravelGirls!!! Lo siento, je suis desolé, et mi dispiace–in short, my apologies for having gone off the grid for awhile. My freelance consulting and writing has kept me très busy the past several months, but I promise that I’m back, ready to inspire my chicas to experience the world and let it experience THEM!!

Since I last wrote, I’ve had incredible experiences in Panama City, Panama, and am counting on loads more of overseas trips in the near future. (More on that later!) But I’ve also been living vicariously through the adventures some of YOU ladies have been having this summer… which leads me to this post. None of us is an island—and neither should we be, even when we love hitting the road solo (as you know I do). It’s one thing to visit a city or country on your own, but quite refreshing to see it through the eyes of those who live there. And even if you don’t happen to know anyone in Amsterdam or Hong Kong or Cape Town, chances are someone that you know DOES. That’s why it’s a great idea to find out in advance if folks you know have any local connections in the place you’re heading.

I always do this when traveling abroad (and try to make it a habit here in the States, too). Meeting people who live where you’re visiting widens your perspective—and gives you a local’s view of life in your chosen vacation spot. I recently did the girlfriend hook-up for two African-American chicas headed to Europe—both on first-time solo visits to Rome and London, respectively.

Renee, one of my faithful UrbanTravelGirl readers, wrote me months ago telling me she was making her first trip to bella Italia—and that she was rolling solo—and asked if I could give her the names of some local connections. I e-mailed two of my favorite and friendliest Italian bellas, Monica and Filly, who were only TOO happy to meet Renee for meals and hang out with her during her time in the Eternal City. Truth be told, I was jealous I COULDN’T be there – it sounds like they had a ball, hit it off, and hopefully will see each other when the Italian ladies next visit the United States!

And just this month, I did e-introductions between my Chicago sistagirl Carol and two friends-of-friends in London. Carol was making her first trip to the UK—and she was hesitant about doing it alone. So why not connect her to a couple of fabulous African-American expat women who are thriving big-time in London? Thanks to the graciousness of friends far, far away who were willing to share their precious weekend with a visitor they’d never met, these three ladies met for brunch at a delicious spot not far from Carol’s Kensington hotel.

I like to think one reason I’m here on earth is that I’m truly passionate about connecting people, whether it’s for jobs, for relationships—or during travel. Folks have graciously done this for me for years; now I enjoy paying it forward.

I recommend this friend hook-up whether you’re traveling alone, with family or friends, or your significant other. These “appointments” with friends of your friends add purpose and structure to your vacation days, which often can get bogged down with endless museum and monument visits. And when arranging our meet-ups, I always ask these friends-once-removed to suggest a meeting place that’s a favorite of THEIRS. You then get introduced to cool, where-the-locals-go eateries and bars in different parts of town—places that you wouldn’t likely stumble upon on your own.

As I wrote in a Today’s Chicago Woman Magazine/”TCW Travel Connection” blog post awhile ago,  I’ve found that often these friends-of-friends end up becoming great pals of mine along the way. When heading to Italy several years ago, a former Chicago journalist friend told me about Kelly Carter, another African-American female journalist who was living there. We connected in Positano, where she then lived, and have become great friends since. (She’s writing a memoir, Bellini for One, about her glorious two years living in Italy.) Kelly introduced me to her friend Stacie, a fashionista living in Florence—where I’d recently moved—and we developed a real friendship on our own. And the links in the chain keep strengthening.

I first met my now-good friend Kelly Carter (right front) in Italy back in Fall 2004 after an introduction from a mutual Chicago journalist friend. Here we were (each of us with a mutual friend) having drinks at a beachfront restaurant in scenic Positano, where Kelly then lived.

During a solo trip Rome this past March, Kelly sent out some e-mails to friends of hers living in the Eternal City, who agreed as a group to meet me for drinks one night. What a wonderful treat!! Not only did I get together with an inspiring group of Rome-based American expats, but Kelly also hooked me up Arlene Gibbs, with another friend-of-a-friend who turned out to be the screenplay writer for “Jumping the Broom,” the charming African-American comedy that swept U.S. theaters this spring.

When I visited Mexico City last summer for work, a priest friend from my downtown Chicago church made sure to connect me to a wonderful young friend of his in this massive metropolis of nearly 20 million people. The super-friendly Renato (a passionate traveler himself) met me one Saturday morning, took me on a tour of the capital city, and shared his insights about life here—and even invited his sister to meet us for lunch. So here in a metro area of more than 20 million people, a wonderful afternoon encounter with two of those people made Mexico City delightfully human!

These encounters not only enrich the time you spend “on holiday,” but often expose you to ideas and ways of thinking you’d NEVER discover at home. Because the folks you meet have already been vetted by someone you know, you’ve already got something in common, even if your day-to-day lives and experiences are completely different. I don’t know about you, but who WOULDN’T want to claim friends in different corners of the world? I certainly do. And like the old adage goes, “Make new friends/but keep the old/one is silver/and the other gold.” All of them are real treasures.

Ahhh... can't get back to the lovely French Riviera town of Villefranche-sur-Mer next week. Planning my return to this charming place has been a pleasant trip in itself!

Does this look serene, or WHAT? I'll have a view like this out the window of my Riviera Experience flat in Villefranche before I know it....

For some international travelers, NOTHING compares to the moment of arrival, when they touch down in a new place and are ready to check out the scene. Others love arriving back HOME, posting their photos on Facebook and Flickr, sharing their travel memories with family and friends. But for me, a pseudo-obsessive Type A, what I love most about travel is the PLANNING that goes into crafting a trip.

Take my journey to Europe early next week. A wonderfully thoughtful friend in the south of France owns several beautifully furnished Riviera Experience vacation rental apartments and had a vacancy in one that overlooks the breathtaking Bay of Villefranche. During an e-mail exchange, she invited me to come for a visit. I thought her offer was far too generous and started to decline, but finally graciously accepted, as I’d LOVE to see her and return to one of the most gorgeous places on earth. And for me, a planner to my heart, that’s where the fun begins!

Because I’ve visited to the Côte d’Azur town of Villefranche-sur-Mer twice before—including a solo trip that rang in my 40^th birthday—I know how to get there from the nearby Nice airport. I know my way around Vieux Nice (Old Nice) and how to get to glitzy, jet-set Monaco. But there’s still so much to do and see on the French Riviera and beyond. My head is nearly swimming with the possibilities. Hang out inside the adorable studio apartment or in its private garden and write? Grab my shades and camera and stroll nearby towns? Or merely open the seaside window and nap to my heart’s content?

But since I’m going to be this close to Italy—less than an hour from the border, in fact—could I dare not set foot in bella Italia? And where to go? I STILL have yet to make it to Emilia-Romagna, the region many Italians admit has the best cuisine in the country. Should I make a stop in Tuscany, to stop in Florence where I lived for too short a time? Or head way south to Rome, the only city that rivals Paris for my undying affection, and visit my many friends there? Eventually, Rome won out, although I’ll only be there for three short days—not nearly enough time to spend leisurely catching up with folks. But three days are better than none.

For me, NO trip to Rome is complete without a swing past the Colosseum. No matter how often I see it, I never cease being amazed.

As I’ve been planning this south of France-to-Rome getaway for the past several weeks, many questions have crossed my mind: Head to Paris—my favorite city in the world—for a few days after leaving Villefranche? Take an overnight train and take in the romance of the rails on my way to Rome? Since I can’t get directly to Rome from Villefranche on the train, hit the road in a France rental car and pick up that overnight train in Dijon? Decisions, decisions!! (I finally decided to just take an hour flight to Rome to conserve my precious few vacation days… but you can bet I’ll be taking that overnight Artesia train on my next trip from France to Italy!)

I’d love to hear from you UrbanTravelGirls: What’s the best part of a holiday for you—the planning, the actual vacationing or the reminiscing? Perhaps I’ll become a convert!

The film that launched many a female fantasy -- including my own! -- about life in bella Italia.

Julia Roberts' character Liz laughs it up with Javier Bardem in beautiful Bali in "Eat Pray Love" (who wouldn't love THAT?). But why is there never a sistergirl starring in one of these American-woman-reinvents-herself-abroad cinema tales?

In a gorgeous summer film that's a come-to-life travel brochure for historic Verona and the Tuscan countryside, Amanda Seyfried's character lost a fiancee but found love in "Letters to Juliet." At least THIS film featured a beautiful black female extra as a guest at the film's Tuscan hotel. (Sad when that's a HUGE deal -- in 2010!)

For most folks, spending 10 bucks and a couple hours at the movies is all about passive entertainment. But sometimes, you encounter a cinematic gem that literally becomes life-changing, that totally alters the way you see the world. That one for me was 2003’s “Under the Tuscan Sun,” which inspired me, following a major surgery and reordering of life priorities, to quit my corporate job and pack my bags for fabulous Firenze (Florence), Italy.

Even now, if I’m flipping channels on the TV and “Tuscan Sun” is on, regardless of whether the film’s at the beginning, middle or end, I plop down and watch. And certamente, I own the DVD—and when I’m feeling the need for a bit of inspiration, I’ll view it again. I recently interviewed Under the Tuscan Sun author Frances Mayes  for a national Travel story, and that conversation took me back to those dreamy days of living in bella Italia.

 The latest movie buzz, of course, is about Julia Roberts’ “Eat Pray Love,” which hit U.S. cinemas earlier this month. As I’m sure you know (or have heard, whether you wanted to or not), this gorgeous travelogue-on-film it’s based on Elizabeth Gilbert’s monster best-selling memoir about ditching New York City after a traumatic divorce and subsequent love affair and spending a year traveling through Italy, India and Indonesia. (Her gig was WAY easier than mine, as her publisher’s book advance funded her year of self-discovery.) Personally, I never got past the “Eat” portion of the book, but perhaps that’s because I’m too Italy-obsessed to care about the rest.

But here’s what got me thinking: none of the films I’ve seen extolling the joys of traveling and/or relocating abroad has ever starred a black woman—or a woman of color AT ALL. (Please, someone, tell me if I’ve missed one.) Wouldn’t it be fabulous to meet a mocha-skinned sister chucking it all to chase her destiny in bella Italia or bodacious Buenos Aires? Now THAT’s a film I’d gladly pay over and over to watch! 

And we know these stories are out there. I met two INCREDIBLE African-American sisters in Italy, and we’ve become great friends over the years—in part because of this amazing shared black-girl expat experience. I know single black women who packed up their kids and traded their American lives for Parisian ones. Fierce black females making their way in the corporate worlds of London and Dubai. We’ve seen memoirs like Kinky Gazpacho, a great read from African-American writer Lori L. Tharps about her lifelong fascination with Spain—and how she ended up netting a husband in the process.

But those stories never get told on the big screen.

I don’t know—maybe a filmmaker’s tried to green-light a project but was told it was too “niche” and wouldn’t appeal to a broad audience. (But OF COURSE, we women of color are ALWAYS supposed to easily identify with everyone else’s stories.) 

I’d LOVE to know from you UrbanTravelGirls what films have whetted your appetite and prompted YOU to pack your bags for foreign shores, even if you didn’t plan a permanent vacation? What movies are must-adds to our Netflix queues?

And ALSO, share what overseas-adventure film you’d LOVE to see translated into a “sistagirl” version. Tell us—we’re waiting to be inspired!

And Kelly should know. A former sportswriter for some of America’s top newspapers, she covered national and international sports for USA Today, the Dallas Morning News, the Orange County Register, and many others. And she’s no stranger to the famous folks’ beat, either, having covered celebrities for People Magazine, USA Today, and other global publications.

A travel writer who’s literally circled the globe (I’ve lost count of how many countries she’s visited), Kelly and I met during our days as fellow sistergirl expats in bella Italia. And after she and Venus wrapped up Come To Win this spring, this first-class Italophile took herself for several weeks to the south of France and Italy (where she stayed in the gorgeous southern Italian resort town of Tropea) for some maxing and relaxing. As I always tell Kelly, I want to be like HER when I finally grow up!

So check out Come To Win and Venus Williams during her nationwide book tour (Chicago folks, she’ll be at the Borders Store @ Randolph and State on July 9!)–and while you’re at it, check out “Kelly’s Corner,”  a blog which features Ms. Carter’s musings on travel, life, men, you name it. You’ll find yourself alternately inspired and laughing out loud!

But what interested me most is her last chapter: “It’s the Same Story Around the World.” Here, she writes how “Traveling the world—and meeting men from other countries and cultures—can offer American black women a new view of themselves as desirable.” She shares the stories of sisters who’ve lived in Europe, who talk about the very different dynamics of interracial relationships on that continent versus in the States.

Many mention feeling attractive, desired, and appreciated FOR their blackness, rather than in spite of it. Some talk about feeling “freer” to be themselves, both personally and in relationships, when they are abroad. And, as Black Women in Europe blog and social network founder Adrianne George reports: “I want black women to know that, in the wider world, we are perceived as smart, hardworking and talented. In short, the world thinks you’re awesome.”

Imagine that!

Folan also writes about BlackGirlTravel.com, a tour company started by Southern California-based Fleacé Weaver that takes large groups of African-American women on trips to the French Riviera, Spain, Dubai, and beyond. Its signature tour is “Bella Italia,” which has for the past four years has taken “Bellas” (the female travelers) around Italy, where the ladies receive much love. (Which of us globetrotters hasn’t heard the line that Italian men LOVE black women?)

Says Weaver in Folan’s book: “Italian men are very affectionate, very aggressive. They love women of all nationalities and for black American women, it can be overwhelming. Black women aren’t used to the level of attention they get from the men in Italy. In a way, that’s kind of sad. But it’s also why the ladies have such a good time. It’s fun when 50 or so black American women descend on a popular club in Rome and find themselves to be quite literally the ‘bellas’ of the evening.”

I’ve written in this blog about a romantic encounter with a Frenchman in the South of France, being asked out by a young Italian after dining at his restaurant, and generally being treated as a fascinating creature by men of various backgrounds when traveling solo around the world. And of course, there are other tales. The point is, many times African-American women feel more love from men abroad than we get here at home. Perhaps guys in other countries and cultures see us as exotic and different; perhaps they’ve seen Hollywood films, heard rap songs and buy into stereotypes of black women as hypersexed and easy. Who knows? But many genuinely find us attractive—natural hair, mocha skin, and all. And what woman doesn’t want to feel adored and appreciated for who she is?

But at the end of the day, as Folan writes (and we all know), “regardless of race or nationality, all men are men.” Lord knows they ALL come with baggage and hang-ups and issues, as do we. Still, there’s something to be said for keeping our minds open when on the road. Folan wraps up her global chapter this way: “… For what we spend in shoes, we could have an experience that completely changes the way we see ourselves and what we know about the wide world. So start putting your shoe money aside, ladies, and go, woman, go!”

I’d love to hear about YOUR experiences. Do you find that when you travel abroad, you’re approached by men of different ethnic backgrounds? Are you more open to dating across cultures when you’re on the road than you are at home? And have your experiences with men of other races and national backgrounds shaped your perceptions about black women’s beauty and desirability? Do share!

Like my friend and fellow African-American expatriate Kelly Carter, I learned how to TRULY celebrate my “Inner Italian” during my days in Florence, Italy. Here, one of the city’s charming mini-buses rounds the corner of a picturesque street alongside the Arno River.

Here's the view from outside the window of my lovely rented flat in Florence, Italy. Vicolo del Canneto is a charming, narrow street just off the Ponte Vecchio ("Old Bridge" in Italian) and the Arno River.

She writes a periodic question-and-answer feature with “wannabe Italians or expatriate Italians –who try to ‘live Italian’ wherever they are.” I would certainly qualify, as I remain obsessed with the place, its food and wine, its beautiful people — the list goes on. So read all about my “Inner Italian” and you’ll understand why, as Sharon says, “Even if we don’t live in Italy, Italy lives inside of us.”

Ristorante Miramare, with a to-die-for patio that hugs the Mediterranean coast, became my culinary refuge during a day trip to Ventimiglia, Italy!

My French speaking skills pretty much suck, so rather than feeling like the village idiot, I decided to take the 40-minute train from charming Villefranche to Ventimiglia, the first town over the border in Italy. While I won’t be winning any prizes for my knowledge of Italian, I sound like a genius in italiano compared to the moron I sound like in français (multiple classes notwithstanding). So off I went to the train station, armed with my Berlitz Italian Phrase Book & Dictionary just in case all my questi and quelli got stuck in translation.

A palm tree-dominated glimpse down the Ventimiglia promenade.

Ahhh… what a delight to stroll into a city where things felt familiar! Granted, I’d never been to Ventimiglia, but how thrilling to see signs for a salumeria and a gelateria – and actually be able to intelligently ask for my purchase! And, of course, my Italian brothers never let me down… they’re always good for an admiring glance or two and a couple whistles for a single signorina! (I made sure to change into my “cute shoes” before I boarded the train for Italy – I know those so-called little things make a big difference in bella Italia.)

When I got off the train, I was starving… and I’ve spent enough time in Europe to know that you’ve got to time lunch right. Most (decent) restaurants close some time between 2:30 and 7:30 pm, giving employees time off between shifts. But thanks to the late-running French train, it was nearly 3 pm when I arrived. I stumbled from place to place, every one closed and offering (at best) some limp slice of old-looking pizza. A signorina advised me to check out places on the sea, as they might still be serving. And although the kindly old man at the door of Ristorante Miramare said the kitchen was closed, my pleading in Italian won me sympathy from the cute young man at the cash register. He convinced the kitchen to prepare a pasta dish for me, one I devoured while drinking fizzy young vino rosso – and one of the most gorgeous seaside views anywhere. I swear, the kindness of strangers!

As I was leaving, the young man, Emanuele, asked me to take his phone number and call him next time I’m in Ventimiglia so we could meet for a drink. I’m sure I’m old enough to be his mother and probably would have given the poor ragazzo a heart attack if I’d told him my real age. But it’s still flattering. Maybe I should become a straight-up “cougar” while I’m on this 40^th birthday trip. Only my pediatrician and I need to know how old I REALLY am!