Let friends—and friends-of-friends—hook you up with other pals on your next overseas trip

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I met Tom Harrow (now the very successful "Wine Chap" in London) when we both were living in Florence, Italy, back in 2004. I'd met Tom through a Delta sorority sister and friend Paula who was living in London and met Tom through HER soror friend. It's a small world, after all!

I met Tom Harrow (now the very successful “Wine Chap” in London) when we both were living in Florence, Italy, back in 2004. I’d met Tom through Paula, a Delta Sigma Theta sorority sister and friend who was living in London — and Paula met Tom through HER soror friend. It’s a small world, after all!

 

¡Hola, salut et ciao, UrbanTravelGirls!!! Lo siento, je suis desolé, et mi dispiace–in short, my apologies for having gone off the grid for awhile. My freelance consulting and writing has kept me très busy the past several months, but I promise that I’m back, ready to inspire my chicas to experience the world and let it experience THEM!!

Since I last wrote, I’ve had incredible experiences in Panama City, Panama, and am counting on loads more of overseas trips in the near future. (More on that later!) But I’ve also been living vicariously through the adventures some of YOU ladies have been having this summer… which leads me to this post. None of us is an island—and neither should we be, even when we love hitting the road solo (as you know I do). It’s one thing to visit a city or country on your own, but quite refreshing to see it through the eyes of those who live there. And even if you don’t happen to know anyone in Amsterdam or Hong Kong or Cape Town, chances are someone that you know DOES. That’s why it’s a great idea to find out in advance if folks you know have any local connections in the place you’re heading.

I always do this when traveling abroad (and try to make it a habit here in the States, too). Meeting people who live where you’re visiting widens your perspective—and gives you a local’s view of life in your chosen vacation spot. I recently did the girlfriend hook-up for two African-American chicas headed to Europe—both on first-time solo visits to Rome and London, respectively.

Renee, one of my faithful UrbanTravelGirl readers, wrote me months ago telling me she was making her first trip to bella Italia—and that she was rolling solo—and asked if I could give her the names of some local connections. I e-mailed two of my favorite and friendliest Italian bellas, Monica and Filly, who were only TOO happy to meet Renee for meals and hang out with her during her time in the Eternal City. Truth be told, I was jealous I COULDN’T be there – it sounds like they had a ball, hit it off, and hopefully will see each other when the Italian ladies next visit the United States!

And just this month, I did e-introductions between my Chicago sistagirl Carol and two friends-of-friends in London. Carol was making her first trip to the UK—and she was hesitant about doing it alone. So why not connect her to a couple of fabulous African-American expat women who are thriving big-time in London? Thanks to the graciousness of friends far, far away who were willing to share their precious weekend with a visitor they’d never met, these three ladies met for brunch at a delicious spot not far from Carol’s Kensington hotel.

I like to think one reason I’m here on earth is that I’m truly passionate about connecting people, whether it’s for jobs, for relationships—or during travel. Folks have graciously done this for me for years; now I enjoy paying it forward.

I recommend this friend hook-up whether you’re traveling alone, with family or friends, or your significant other. These “appointments” with friends of your friends add purpose and structure to your vacation days, which often can get bogged down with endless museum and monument visits. And when arranging our meet-ups, I always ask these friends-once-removed to suggest a meeting place that’s a favorite of THEIRS. You then get introduced to cool, where-the-locals-go eateries and bars in different parts of town—places that you wouldn’t likely stumble upon on your own.

As I wrote in a Today’s Chicago Woman Magazine/”TCW Travel Connection” blog post awhile ago,  I’ve found that often these friends-of-friends end up becoming great pals of mine along the way. When heading to Italy several years ago, a former Chicago journalist friend told me about Kelly Carter, another African-American female journalist who was living there. We connected in Positano, where she then lived, and have become great friends since. (She’s writing a memoir, Bellini for One, about her glorious two years living in Italy.) Kelly introduced me to her friend Stacie, a fashionista living in Florence—where I’d recently moved—and we developed a real friendship on our own. And the links in the chain keep strengthening.

I first met my now-good friend Kelly Carter (right front) in Italy back in Fall 2004 after an introduction from a mutual Chicago journalist friend. Here we were (each of us with a mutual friend) having drinks at a beachfront restaurant in scenic Positano, where Kelly then lived.
I first met my now-good friend Kelly Carter (right front) in Italy back in Fall 2004 after an introduction from a mutual Chicago journalist friend. Here we were (each of us with a mutual friend) having drinks at a beachfront restaurant in scenic Positano, where Kelly then lived.

During a solo trip Rome this past March, Kelly sent out some e-mails to friends of hers living in the Eternal City, who agreed as a group to meet me for drinks one night. What a wonderful treat!! Not only did I get together with an inspiring group of Rome-based American expats, but Kelly also hooked me up Arlene Gibbs, with another friend-of-a-friend who turned out to be the screenplay writer for “Jumping the Broom,” the charming African-American comedy that swept U.S. theaters this spring.

When I visited Mexico City last summer for work, a priest friend from my downtown Chicago church made sure to connect me to a wonderful young friend of his in this massive metropolis of nearly 20 million people. The super-friendly Renato (a passionate traveler himself) met me one Saturday morning, took me on a tour of the capital city, and shared his insights about life here—and even invited his sister to meet us for lunch. So here in a metro area of more than 20 million people, a wonderful afternoon encounter with two of those people made Mexico City delightfully human!

These encounters not only enrich the time you spend “on holiday,” but often expose you to ideas and ways of thinking you’d NEVER discover at home. Because the folks you meet have already been vetted by someone you know, you’ve already got something in common, even if your day-to-day lives and experiences are completely different. I don’t know about you, but who WOULDN’T want to claim friends in different corners of the world? I certainly do. And like the old adage goes, “Make new friends/but keep the old/one is silver/and the other gold.” All of them are real treasures.

Turning a trip abroad into a ‘permanent vacation’

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Inspired partly by fabulous vacations to Italy, former American expat Kelly Carter (and her famous long-haired Chihuahua Lucy) moved to Positano on the Amalfi Coast. Kelly's now writing about her two-year Italian adventure in "Bellini for One."
Inspired partly by fabulous vacations to Italy, former American expat Kelly Carter (and her famous long-haired Chihuahua Lucy) moved to Positano on the Amalfi Coast. Kelly's now writing about her two-year Italian adventure in "Bellini for One."
Life as an expat wouldn't be so bad in lovely Mendoza, Argentina. Here I am trying it out during my recent trip, sipping a Gancia Batido (a classic Argentine cocktail) on the terrace of the Park Hyatt Mendoza.
Life as an expat wouldn't be so bad in lovely Mendoza, Argentina. Here I am trying it out during my recent trip, sipping a Gancia Batido (a classic Argentine cocktail) on the terrace of the Park Hyatt Mendoza.
British expat author Peter Mayle introduced millions to the "good life" in Provence through his best-selling books.
British expat author Peter Mayle introduced millions to the "good life" in Provence through his best-selling books.

We’ve all read books and watched films about folks (often single women, it seems) who travel to some exotic locale in search of self-discovery, fall in love with this new place, and decide to trade in their not-quite-right lives at home for a new one overseas. You UrbanTravelGirls know the 2003 film “Under the Tuscan Sun” motivated me to move to storybook-perfect Florence, Italy. The Frances Mayes book that inspired the film, Under the Tuscan Sun, has been translated into dozens of languages and prompted countless reader pilgrimages to Mayes’ adopted Tuscan hometown of Cortona.

 Author Peter Mayle jump-started the modern expat-exchanges-hectic-urban-life-for-adventure-abroad trend with A Year in Provence, a book that when became an international best-seller when first published in 1989. In it, Mayle chronicled his life as a British expatriate in Ménerbes, a town in this gorgeous part of southern France. This former London ad executive and his wife traveled to Provence on vacation but eventually took the plunge, relocating completely from the UK to France. And once his books caught fire and made him rich—no doubt inspiring legions of folks with visions of living abroad—Mayle became the patron saint of reinventing oneself in a foreign land.

But when does an UrbanTravelGirl decide that a mere vacation doesn’t do it, that she’d rather pull up stakes and actually MOVE to another country and build a life for herself there instead of here (wherever that happens to be)?

My family and friends always laugh at me because whenever I return from a particularly good vacation (as mine generally tend to be), I share the same refrain: “I think I could live there!” Those of you who’ve listened to me wax poetic about Buenos Aires know I’ve thought it and said it, as I tend to travel to places that fascinate me and hold some special allure. And because I tend to rent apartments when I go abroad, I purposely immerse myself in the culture to get a real sense of daily life.

And, if the place grows on me—as Montreal (where I’d planned to move if the 2008 U.S. presidential election had turned out differently), Villefranche-sur-Mer on the French Riviera, and Buenos Aires did—then I entertain myself with visions of, “What if I actually MOVED here someday?” We all know it’s only a matter of time before I pull up stakes and seek an exciting new life—AGAIN!—outside the United States.

I’m not just inspired by books written by now-wealthy authors. I get it from real-life sistagirls, such as my good friend and fellow freelance journalist Kelly Carter, whose travels to Italy prompted HER move to Florence and Positano—AND who’s writing about it in an upcoming memoir appropriately named Bellini for One. And just yesterday, my Italophile friend Sharon Sanders who knows how I love Argentina sent me a Wall Street Journal article about a California couple who, after visiting the lovely wine-producing province of Mendoza, decided to buy a vineyard, building both a business and a fascinating new life.

But at the end of the day, visions of life in some fabulous villa (accompanied of course by some gorgeous local man with a heart-melting foreign accent) meet reality. Most of us aren’t independently wealthy (and if you are, most countries want you to PROVE it before they let you stay), so we need to figure out how we’ll make a living. But that doesn’t mean we can’t turn a great trip into a real life abroad.

For example, when I visited Montreal back in October 2008 with serious thoughts about moving there, I picked up brochures on immigrating to Canada (which actually seemed to be welcoming foreigners, as opposed to its neighbor to the south). Eventually, I might have looked into obtaining a working vacation visa that would let me “try out” my new country while still (legally) earning money. And if I’d decided to stay permanently, I might have sought out a Canadian immigration lawyer who specialized in helping Americans seeking a new life in their nation. Of course, there’s no ONE way to make such a life-changing move—and if you’re motivated enough to go, the Universe will meet you more than halfway.

So tell us, ladies—if YOU’RE one of those who moved abroad because you fell in love with your current home on your travels, what made you take the plunge?

Or if you’re one of us dreamers, what foreign country tugs at your heartstrings and why?

Nothing like a little fantasy to make life sweeter, yes?