Turning a trip abroad into a ‘permanent vacation’

Inspired partly by fabulous vacations to Italy, former American expat Kelly Carter (and her famous long-haired Chihuahua Lucy) moved to Positano on the Amalfi Coast. Kelly's now writing about her two-year Italian adventure in "Bellini for One."
Inspired partly by fabulous vacations to Italy, former American expat Kelly Carter (and her famous long-haired Chihuahua Lucy) moved to Positano on the Amalfi Coast. Kelly's now writing about her two-year Italian adventure in "Bellini for One."
Life as an expat wouldn't be so bad in lovely Mendoza, Argentina. Here I am trying it out during my recent trip, sipping a Gancia Batido (a classic Argentine cocktail) on the terrace of the Park Hyatt Mendoza.
Life as an expat wouldn't be so bad in lovely Mendoza, Argentina. Here I am trying it out during my recent trip, sipping a Gancia Batido (a classic Argentine cocktail) on the terrace of the Park Hyatt Mendoza.
British expat author Peter Mayle introduced millions to the "good life" in Provence through his best-selling books.
British expat author Peter Mayle introduced millions to the "good life" in Provence through his best-selling books.

We’ve all read books and watched films about folks (often single women, it seems) who travel to some exotic locale in search of self-discovery, fall in love with this new place, and decide to trade in their not-quite-right lives at home for a new one overseas. You UrbanTravelGirls know the 2003 film “Under the Tuscan Sun” motivated me to move to storybook-perfect Florence, Italy. The Frances Mayes book that inspired the film, Under the Tuscan Sun, has been translated into dozens of languages and prompted countless reader pilgrimages to Mayes’ adopted Tuscan hometown of Cortona.

 Author Peter Mayle jump-started the modern expat-exchanges-hectic-urban-life-for-adventure-abroad trend with A Year in Provence, a book that when became an international best-seller when first published in 1989. In it, Mayle chronicled his life as a British expatriate in Ménerbes, a town in this gorgeous part of southern France. This former London ad executive and his wife traveled to Provence on vacation but eventually took the plunge, relocating completely from the UK to France. And once his books caught fire and made him rich—no doubt inspiring legions of folks with visions of living abroad—Mayle became the patron saint of reinventing oneself in a foreign land.

But when does an UrbanTravelGirl decide that a mere vacation doesn’t do it, that she’d rather pull up stakes and actually MOVE to another country and build a life for herself there instead of here (wherever that happens to be)?

My family and friends always laugh at me because whenever I return from a particularly good vacation (as mine generally tend to be), I share the same refrain: “I think I could live there!” Those of you who’ve listened to me wax poetic about Buenos Aires know I’ve thought it and said it, as I tend to travel to places that fascinate me and hold some special allure. And because I tend to rent apartments when I go abroad, I purposely immerse myself in the culture to get a real sense of daily life.

And, if the place grows on me—as Montreal (where I’d planned to move if the 2008 U.S. presidential election had turned out differently), Villefranche-sur-Mer on the French Riviera, and Buenos Aires did—then I entertain myself with visions of, “What if I actually MOVED here someday?” We all know it’s only a matter of time before I pull up stakes and seek an exciting new life—AGAIN!—outside the United States.

I’m not just inspired by books written by now-wealthy authors. I get it from real-life sistagirls, such as my good friend and fellow freelance journalist Kelly Carter, whose travels to Italy prompted HER move to Florence and Positano—AND who’s writing about it in an upcoming memoir appropriately named Bellini for One. And just yesterday, my Italophile friend Sharon Sanders who knows how I love Argentina sent me a Wall Street Journal article about a California couple who, after visiting the lovely wine-producing province of Mendoza, decided to buy a vineyard, building both a business and a fascinating new life.

But at the end of the day, visions of life in some fabulous villa (accompanied of course by some gorgeous local man with a heart-melting foreign accent) meet reality. Most of us aren’t independently wealthy (and if you are, most countries want you to PROVE it before they let you stay), so we need to figure out how we’ll make a living. But that doesn’t mean we can’t turn a great trip into a real life abroad.

For example, when I visited Montreal back in October 2008 with serious thoughts about moving there, I picked up brochures on immigrating to Canada (which actually seemed to be welcoming foreigners, as opposed to its neighbor to the south). Eventually, I might have looked into obtaining a working vacation visa that would let me “try out” my new country while still (legally) earning money. And if I’d decided to stay permanently, I might have sought out a Canadian immigration lawyer who specialized in helping Americans seeking a new life in their nation. Of course, there’s no ONE way to make such a life-changing move—and if you’re motivated enough to go, the Universe will meet you more than halfway.

So tell us, ladies—if YOU’RE one of those who moved abroad because you fell in love with your current home on your travels, what made you take the plunge?

Or if you’re one of us dreamers, what foreign country tugs at your heartstrings and why?

Nothing like a little fantasy to make life sweeter, yes?

Why don’t films about traveling or moving abroad ever feature black women?

The film that launched many a female fantasy -- including my own! about life in bella Italia.
The film that launched many a female fantasy -- including my own! -- about life in bella Italia.
Julia Roberts' character Liz laughs it up with Javier Bardem in Bali in "Eat Pray Love." But why is there never a sistergirl starring in one of these American-woman-reinvents-herself-abroad cinema tales?
Julia Roberts' character Liz laughs it up with Javier Bardem in beautiful Bali in "Eat Pray Love" (who wouldn't love THAT?). But why is there never a sistergirl starring in one of these American-woman-reinvents-herself-abroad cinema tales?
In a gorgeous summer film that felt like a come-to-life travel brochure for historic Verona and the Tuscan countryside, Amanda Seyfried's character lost a fiancee but found love in "Letters to Juliet." At least THIS film featured a beautiful black female extra as a guest at the film's Tuscan hotel. (Sad when that's a HUGE deal!)
In a gorgeous summer film that's a come-to-life travel brochure for historic Verona and the Tuscan countryside, Amanda Seyfried's character lost a fiancee but found love in "Letters to Juliet." At least THIS film featured a beautiful black female extra as a guest at the film's Tuscan hotel. (Sad when that's a HUGE deal -- in 2010!)

For most folks, spending 10 bucks and a couple hours at the movies is all about passive entertainment. But sometimes, you encounter a cinematic gem that literally becomes life-changing, that totally alters the way you see the world. That one for me was 2003’s “Under the Tuscan Sun,” which inspired me, following a major surgery and reordering of life priorities, to quit my corporate job and pack my bags for fabulous Firenze (Florence), Italy.

Even now, if I’m flipping channels on the TV and “Tuscan Sun” is on, regardless of whether the film’s at the beginning, middle or end, I plop down and watch. And certamente, I own the DVD—and when I’m feeling the need for a bit of inspiration, I’ll view it again. I recently interviewed Under the Tuscan Sun author Frances Mayes  for a national Travel story, and that conversation took me back to those dreamy days of living in bella Italia.

 The latest movie buzz, of course, is about Julia Roberts’ “Eat Pray Love,” which hit U.S. cinemas earlier this month. As I’m sure you know (or have heard, whether you wanted to or not), this gorgeous travelogue-on-film it’s based on Elizabeth Gilbert’s monster best-selling memoir about ditching New York City after a traumatic divorce and subsequent love affair and spending a year traveling through Italy, India and Indonesia. (Her gig was WAY easier than mine, as her publisher’s book advance funded her year of self-discovery.) Personally, I never got past the “Eat” portion of the book, but perhaps that’s because I’m too Italy-obsessed to care about the rest.

But here’s what got me thinking: none of the films I’ve seen extolling the joys of traveling and/or relocating abroad has ever starred a black woman—or a woman of color AT ALL. (Please, someone, tell me if I’ve missed one.) Wouldn’t it be fabulous to meet a mocha-skinned sister chucking it all to chase her destiny in bella Italia or bodacious Buenos Aires? Now THAT’s a film I’d gladly pay over and over to watch! 

And we know these stories are out there. I met two INCREDIBLE African-American sisters in Italy, and we’ve become great friends over the years—in part because of this amazing shared black-girl expat experience. I know single black women who packed up their kids and traded their American lives for Parisian ones. Fierce black females making their way in the corporate worlds of London and Dubai. We’ve seen memoirs like Kinky Gazpacho, a great read from African-American writer Lori L. Tharps about her lifelong fascination with Spain—and how she ended up netting a husband in the process.

But those stories never get told on the big screen.

I don’t know—maybe a filmmaker’s tried to green-light a project but was told it was too “niche” and wouldn’t appeal to a broad audience. (But OF COURSE, we women of color are ALWAYS supposed to easily identify with everyone else’s stories.) 

I’d LOVE to know from you UrbanTravelGirls what films have whetted your appetite and prompted YOU to pack your bags for foreign shores, even if you didn’t plan a permanent vacation? What movies are must-adds to our Netflix queues?

And ALSO, share what overseas-adventure film you’d LOVE to see translated into a “sistagirl” version. Tell us—we’re waiting to be inspired!